Dante's Hair is Why I Can't Find a Job

The newest entry in the Devil May Cry series came out today. It's caused some controversy by being a sort of reboot for the series: it was developed at Ninja Theory instead of internally at Capcom. So naturally the internet imploded and nerd rage seethed at the concept of Dante having black hair.

Nerd rage has gone too far.

These epidermal end-times are treated with cheeky flippancy in the game, as they should be:

This ain't your Grandaddy's Dante. The character is eleven years old, you baby.

Ninja Theory received death threats over this game. DEATH THREATS. Can you imagine showing off something you're really proud of, but not even showing it off, just showing a couple pictures of it, then having total strangers threaten your life over it? It's ridiculous. 

For a child of the 80's, this is a strange time to be alive. Our generation has effectively taken over the marketing world. We grew up around the time the internet became a thing, so we're plenty tech savvy, but it seems almost as though we have a hard time coming up with new ideas, or at least getting those ideas published. This year we can look forward to Die Hard 5 (now R-rated, so you can't bitch about that!), a sequel to a piece of garbage about a line of toys from the 80's (maybe two, are Transformers and GI Joe both due out this year?), a new Evil Dead, Fast and the Furious 6, a fifth crack at Superman, the sequel to the reboot of Star Trek, and on and on and on. There exists simultaneously a level of scrutiny over the tiniest detail of the most inconsequential nonsense possible while we put up an unprecedented number of recycled ideas. Franchising is the name of the game in Hollywood, and to a smaller extent in the video game world (is there a centralized place I can use to refer to that world?). If people get so bent out of shape about a lesser-known video game character's hair that they're driven to make comic books and metal songs about it, why can't they direct that energy toward supporting new IPs and filmmakers so we can get out of this idea rut?

I really wonder how our generation is going to be remembered. In my circle, we seem like the most creative, least tolerant toward pointless work, most introspective, extroverted, lost but in a good way maybe people there's ever been in the history of this country. And maybe this is just a reaction to hearing that unbearable Colossus noise for four days straight at MAGFest last week (week before? Who knows, without a job I don't know what day it is half the time), but I feel like our inability to mature is holding us back. 

Speaking of no job (flawless transition!), I've looked at all the top companies in Baltimore per the Sun's year-end list. I can find maybe two out of thirty that I can identify what the hell they even do. It's frustrating to have years of various experiences, developing a bevy of skills (writing, editing, proofreading, graphic design, web design, guitar, bass, audio production, FHA appraisal reviewing, maintenance, construction, bartending, serving, and marketing assistance all grace my resume) and feel like I have nothing to offer the business world. Maybe I should have gotten a business degree instead of a writing degree. Oddly, I feel like I'd be a stronger writer for it, because nine lit classes and three softball 'writing' classes didn't do a hell of a lot to shape me into a confident, accomplished wordsman. And God help me, I know I have more in common with the people that pointed out that hair and set themselves on fire in the street over it, because it was the first thing I thought when I saw those first pictures. I just didn't say anything about it because I'm a self-respecting adult that still carries the shame of knowing all the Japanese names of all the moves they use in Dragonball Z and Street Fighter. Why alcohol can't destroy those memories I'll never understand. 

Anyway, I think I had a point when I started this post, but it has eluded me. A lot of things have been doing that lately. But yeah, hair. HAIR. Grow up and stop taking your entertainment so damn seriously. 


Watch - Butter. It's on Netflix. Olivia Wilde is delightful. That guy from Modern Family makes jokes that made me laugh. Watch it. 

Play - I can't believe I never thought to add this category. Street Fighter x Mega Man is still free, and it's getting a password feature soon. It is much fun. Also free.

Listen - Steve Herrera's Steve Herrera by Steve Herrera. He makes music that you should listen to. Kind of a personal 90's pop rock love letter to life so far. Only more decisive.